Cows from the Southern portion of Waco Texas, along with Senator Elizabeth Warren, are being rounded up by officials of the USDA to be tested for Mad Cow Disease. Officials detected symptoms a few weeks ago and are taking steps to protect the public.
Sufferers of Bovine spongiform encephalopathy, or Mad Cow disease as it is commonly known, usually exhibit one or more of the following warning signs; frothing at the mouth, not playing well with others, dry humping the water troughs located around the ranch or continuously yelling at high volumes to the point where nobody wants to listen.
The cows, along with the senator, were taken to an undisclosed location and will undergo thorough testing to determine if they are fit for human consumption/interaction.
After her capture Senator Warren released a statement that read, “I LOOK FORWARD TO CASTRATING EVERY SINGLE, SOLITARY MALE IN THE USDA WHO HAS SLANDERED MY REPUTATION WITH THIS ACCUSATION!!”