MSNBC Hires Hudeki ‘The Assquake’ Sakamoto to Shit Out a Connection Between Trump and Russia

in Politics

Desperate for concrete evidence that president trump colluded with the Russians to win the 2016 election, executives at Comcast, the company that owns MSNBC, met together last Wednesday to brainstorm in an effort to solve their present dilemma. The result was the hiring of Hudeki Sakamoto, know as ‘the assquake’ in his tiny village of Higashi-Naruse in Japan. Myth has it that the Sakamoto males from Higashi-Naruse have been able to ‘bring forth from their bowels evidence of wrong doing’ for centuries. The liberal news organization, who had never seen any proof of these powers, never the less hired Mr. Assquake believing it was at least worth a shot. 


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