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Protest Volunteers Growing Weary Over Never Ending Schedule, Demand at Least Weed Money from George Soros

in Politics

Volunteers for George Soros’ anti-conservative Protest Alliance group are starting to get a little dismayed at the lack of support they’re getting from the top. Virtually all of those that have been protesting since the day after the 2016 election haven’t received any sort of reimbursement from Mr. Soros and now many are starting to grumble.

“I’ve destroyed over 75 vehicles with two of my own bats,” explains a twenty-something Seth Jones, “I don’t have money to buy another one. All I’m asking is for another bat, a few cartons of eggs and maybe a hook up with some fatty bloom blatty-show me some gratitude, man.”

“It’s kind of getting to be a drag, I’ve got a life you know,” says Ziggy Bradford of Kingston, NY. “I’ve missed countless band practices, haven’t uploaded any videos to my YouTube account in weeks and I’ve got 13 unfinished missions on Grand Theft Auto, all because I spend my whole day making Molotov Cocktails.”

Many volunteers, including Seth and Ziggy, have called the Protest Alliance’s complaint hotline but have only been greeted with a personal message from Mr. Soros: “Thank You for your mindless dedication to my cause, I look forward to possibly rewarding you.”

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