“That Billy Bob Sue can run like the dickens,” says Ida Mae Allison of Eddyville, Iowa. “I was so disappointed when he was denied his dream of being an NFL superstar this year, It just isn’t right.”
Ida Mae, along with her son Bobby Bertha William and her grandson Billy Bob Sue, live on a 1200 acre farm in Southeast Iowa, right in the heart of corn country. Mr. Bob Sue, who is transgendered, also identifies as the best running back in the nation. He had hoped to leave behind his small town life as a farmer and bring his self proclaimed dominate football skills to a major NFL city, like Chicago or Kansas City, but that dream has been shot down.
“I can run like it’s nobody’s business,” claims Mr. Sue. “I could run from here to that cow, in high heels no less, in under 35 seconds. But you know what? Them highfalutin coaches in the Pros are just scared of someone like me. Well, I’m about to sue some asses!”
Whacked.news has contacted the NFL Commissioner’s office and was told by a spokesperson that “We take this accusation seriously and will respond to these charges as soon as we figure out who the hell Billy Bob Sue is.”